The Runner that Stood Still.

I have a perfectly good reason at why I have not been writing posts for this running blog; I haven't been running. At first it was just instinct that I should stop running. Something wasn't “quite right.” I saw a doctor, had an x-ray, some tests, saw a specialist and nearly three months later my hunch was right. The official diagnosis is I need to wait another six weeks until I can run again. Well, actually the exact words were “6-12 weeks” but right now I am gunning on six. Medically it is nothing serious, not even running related. Don't worry I won't bore anyone with the details. Somewhere along the way of life I learned that if I think of all the people who I imagine actually care about health problems, divide it by ten and then remove all the people who did not give birth / raise me or marry me than that is the correct number to discuss health, mundane daily activities and weather with. Tis a fact of life. Just look at Facebook status's for confirmation of people who have yet to work this out.

Can I still a runner if I can not run? Or what about a non runner who is now a runner not writing posts for a running blog who can not run? I feel like an imposter. And a confusing one at that. But the reality is at some point in the past year a part of me became a runner. I feel tremulously perched on the edge of transformation. Because even if physically I may not be in a runners state, mentally I am. Yet I will not let it define me. I have witnessed this happen to runners in the past, way before I myself became a runner. It is almost a bit scary to watch. They become increasingly cagey, pacing like a drug addict looking for their next hit. Their whole life revolves around when they can fit in their next run. Everything starts to fall apart, their lives, their mental states, their ability to talk about anything, ANYTHING else.

And as much as I really want to be a runner, I don't want to be that. I can still live and not run. How do I know this? How do I know I am a runner even if I do not run? Over the past three months when I have bounced between whether I am delusional or a failure it really all came down to conditional sentences. Which sounds like a judges verdict ending in jail term but is basic english grammar. Amongst all this thinking I realised it was not about IF I will run again it was about WHEN I will run again. It set this runner who stood still free.

The O-CORE-ber in October Challenge

 

I always hoped that there was a runner inside of me trying to get out. Well it's happening and it ain't pretty. I'm no longer the non-runner shuffling to a run but neither am I convincing myself that I know what I am doing as a runner. I think I am doing the whole fake it to you make it trick. I was obviously impressed with my ability to not only download a free running app on my phone but also learn how to work it plus understand the data. The next step was to buy an armband for my phone where the sales assistant said to me, "make sure you keep the receipt, in case it doesn't fit your arm." How kind.
 

Simply going for a run has all of a sudden become quite a palaver. I have headphones which need to stay in my ears, music that needs to be cued, a running app that needs to be started and an armband to attach to my arm - all simultaneously. I feel ridiculous. But just as I am about to ditch the gadgetry my running app informs me that one of my 5k weekly routes I have taken for the past year is more accurately 3.8k. I go to the local cafe to drown my sorrows in a smoothie where the owner informs me she can't look at me as she is freaked out by my feet in the barefoot shoes. Kindness all round.

 

 

So while I fine tune my running regime I am going to focus on my core strength as it is in need of some serious attention. I have created the O-core-ber in October challenge. Everyday in October I will dedicate 10 minutes to improving my core strength following a daily workout routine used by ex- ballerina and Canadian Long Distance runner, Jane Cullis, who drinks martinis and gets pornography offers. This is her blog I have started to follow http://janecoolis.blogspot.ca/ and this is where you can watch the workout video (she claims to be hangover in the video....you can tell). But if you wish to just have the workout here it is:
 

• 1 min front plank: hold
• 1 min side plank: hold 15 sec, side leg raises for 30 sec, hold 15 sec
• 90 sec front plank: 3 sets of 10 leg raises per leg, then hold until 90 sec
• 1 min side plank (alternate sides): hold 15 sec, side leg raises for 30 sec, hold 15 sec
• 30 sec front plank: hold
• 30 sec push-ups, 30 sec hold in push-up position
• Lying on your back with legs up at a 90-degree angle, lower both legs until just above the ground. Repeat for 30 sec.
• In sit-up position, side touches for 30 sec.
• Repeat 30 sec leg dips and 30 sec side touches.
• Return to front plank position for 1 min straight hold
• 30 sec push-ups and 30 sec hold in push-up position
 

Are you laughing with me yet? If not, you probably don't need to do the challenge. My goal is to replace anywhere she says 1 minute with 10 seconds in the beginning.

 

In the meantime I have to return the armband with receipt since it gauged a big hole in my arm. Still to be determined if it is that my arms are too fat or just a stupid product. Hopefully by November I will have sorted out my new running techniques with some functional core muscles.

Ten Question to Ask Yourself When You Can Run 5k and Want to Run 10k

Socrates is quoted having said an “unexamined life is not worth living.” I'm going to literally take it a step further and put it out there that an unexamined run is not worth running. As I start to think about what runs lie ahead in the next year to take me to 10k (gulp!) I wonder if there is any wisdom to be found on reflecting over the past year where I went from 5 steps to 5k?

Here are the ten questions I compiled. I wrote my answers below if interested.

1. What did I do well?
2. What can I improve on?
3. Who are the people who supported me the most?
4. How can I maximise their support and express gratitude? 
5. Who or what inspires me to run? 
6. Why is running 10k important to me?
7. What challenges stand between me and running 10k?
8. What's the number one change I need to make to ensure I achieve my 10k goal?
9. How will I do it?
10. If I could back in time and tell my non running self something what would it be?

What did I do well?

Mindfully, I did it all by myself. I earned every step and ran it MY way. No training program, no music, no watch, no gadgetry. I did not sustain any significant injury.

What can I improve on?

Conquer the dreadmill for winter is coming! Learn how to speak runner's talk. Find out what these pacing and splits are. Immerse myself with other runner's even if it means going incognito or paying. Get some gadgetry – even a watch or pedometer would do for starts. Work on basic math.

Who are the people who supported me the most?
Emotionally the people who read my blog because they make what I am doing feel important and worthwhile. Logistically those who look after my children so I can run.

How can I maximise their support and express gratitude?                                                    

Need to be more faithful with my blog posts and reach out to other potential readers who can  benefit from running with spirit techniques. The only way I can express gratitude is by writing well, usefully and frequently. I can only do this by running. It is a giving circle. Oh and keeping the child carers happy with occasional bribes.

Who or what inspires me to run?                                                                                                    

I love reading books about running. Especially Ultra marathoners. It makes what I am trying to achieve a piece of cake. But when I am running it is the “ordinary” people who inspire me the most. The heavily obese woman slowly jogging on the road as I drive by. The women at Stonehaven Running Club (future post stay tuned.) Not the runners who look like they came out of the womb tying up their laces.

 

Why is running 10k important to me?                                                                                       

It is a quarter of my marathon goal. I need to honour my health and running is the best way to make me a better person physically spiritually. 

 

What challenges stand between me and running 10k?    

Childcare and consistent motivation.

 

What's the number one change I need to make to ensure I achieve my 10k goal?

Dedication.

 

How will I do it?

In an ideal world: do 2 runs a week focusing on increasing distance and 2 runs a week that focus on speed. The other 2 days work on strength with yoga focusing especially on the core and arms. Until I come across something else that instinctively

If I could back in time and tell my non running self something what would it be? 
Go easy as hard as you can. For anything is better than nothing.

Running with Spirit: Recommended Reading List

Last year, one of our most dedicated and enthusiastic readers, requested for some book suggestions to help in their running journey. I took this request seriously. Too seriously. So seriously that it has taken me just under a year to compile and review a small selection of books.

Part of the challenge lies in the fact is that there are very few books written on using spiritual techniques when running. Usually the author is an expert on or the other; a monk, a priest or a professional athlete. That is one of the reasons why I started this blog as it is evident I am not an expert in spirituality or running. The momentum is picking up and I do hear of publications more frequently than when I began this blog. If I only listed books that were about running spiritually it would be a very short list indeed. But I have another reason, based on my own personal experience, at why I am taking a broad and more encompassing approach.

When I am inspired; I run. When my relationships with those around me are supportive and healthy; I run. When my children are behaving and functional; I run. When my body is properly nourished; I run. When I meditate; I run. When my soul is cared for; I run. I have included all of the books that enable me to achieve these things so I can run with spirit.

I have only suggested books that I have read myself and found immensely useful. I asked many friends whose opinion I value for suggestions. Books also have this knack of finding a reader at the right time. Sometimes I have picked up a book, read it thinking it was complete rubbish, only to revisit it at a later date and found it wonderful. Other times I have been interested in an author and disappointed. Two authors who come to mind are Eckhart Tolle and Deepak Chopra. Yet I know many readers have found their writing wonderful. Maybe one day I will too.

This list is not indicative of the books I have read or what is available. I have purposefully left out any books on meditation because I know that the only way to meditate is to do it. Better off finding a teacher or a course. My hope is that this post will be revised often, growing naturally, as I read more books and hopefully readers share their own book suggestions.

Running

• Running Within  – Jerry Lynch
• Zen and the Art of Running – Larry Shapiro, PhD
• Born to Run - Christopher MacDougall
• Running with the Mind of Meditation - Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche
• Eat and Run Scott Jurek
• Running the Spiritual Path - Roger D. Joslin

Mindfulness

• Beginning Mindfulness: Learning the way of Awareness – Andrew Weiss

Spirituality

• The Tibetan Book of the Living and Dying - Sogyal Rinpoche
• Awakening the Buddha Within - Lama Surya Das
• Many Lives, Many Masters - Dr Brian Weiss
• Autobiography of a Yogi - Paramahansa Yogananda
• Yoga Nidra - Swami Satyananda Saraswati

Health

• Slim for Life - Jason Vale (Don't let the wanky title put you off.)

Inspiration

• The Alchemist - Paulo Cohello
• Way of the Peaceful Warrior - Dan Millman

Relationships

• 5 Languages of Love - Gary Chapman

Depression

• The Red Tree – Shaun Tan

Parenting

• Boundaries with Kids: How healthy choices grow healthy children – Dr Henry Cloud.
• Buddhism for Mothers with young children: How to become a mindful parent – Sarah Napthal

May you find the words you need, when you need them and use them wisely.

 

 

My FIRST race.

 Sorry to disappoint but I do not expect my race preparation techniques to feature in a Running magazine any time soon. The morning of the race I undid the knot in my elasticised running pants so they fit and tried to tuck in as much back fat into my sports bra as possible to close the straps. The night before I ate copious amounts of pizza. The week before I did no training as I was too busy making home brew and getting slightly tipsy on the tastings. Three months before the race I managed to squeeze in five runs. All in two weeks before the race. My children were more excited than me and were expecting me to win a trophy. The only thing I knew for sure is that they would be disappointed.

I could face this potentially humiliating race if I could find someone equally as ridiculous to do it with me. My one and only running partner, Gazelle had abandoned me to return back to university, taking any training motivation with me. Many requests were rejected. However, I did find one willing, brave soul who prefers to be unnamed and henceforth will be referred to as P. She too had not run all summer and before that only ever on a treadmill. Then I gave my attitude a major overhaul.

If someone had said to me last August (while I was laboriously running my ten steps and then recuperating by walking ten steps for a total of ten minutes) that one year later I would run a 5k race I would have told them to “tell 'em their dreaming!” Here I am one year later about it do it. That alone is an accomplishment and something to celebrate. One year later I am a runner who is still running (never mind that it is sporadic because really when does life ever go to plan.) No, if I was going to run this race it would be with a spirit of joyfulness and gratitude - gosh darn-it!

I always knew the Butter Trail run would be the perfect first race for me. It is a beautiful, peaceful trail. The race is small (120 people registered, half doing the 5km and half doing the 10km). The $40 registration fee is a fund raiser for the local recreation centre. Asking for donations just ain't my style. I admire and respect the race director, Jennifer Langille, who is humble and gracious. There is free child care. Fortunately, the weather was 16 Celsius, slight breeze, with just enough cloud cover to keep the sun off. You couldn't even pre-order better weather. The best part of all (besides the race t-shirt and goody bag) is that you can pin your race number to hide any jiggly belly fat.

Standing at the starting line was rather nerve racking. Truth be told I was a tad emotional too. I hoped P didn't notice. Mostly surrounded by all these rather serious, fit people fiddling with their gadgets and gizmo’s. I still wasn't sure what my running time would even be having never timed myself before.  The starting gun fires.

The locals came out of their houses with lawn chairs to cheer us on. I always run alone so I get such a happy buzz running with other people, and for awhile I just soak it in. I also get talkative which is hardly surprising. Any excuse really! I remember my friend Nicola in Scotland saying during her first marathon she just gave up and started socialising. At the time I thought she was bonkers and wondered how that could possibly happened but now I understand. There is such a party atmosphere and a huge sense of camaraderie. I start yapping to P. “I can't talk!” she puffs at me. Then we hit the killer hill.

My one and only expectation I had of myself was to run the whole way. Even if it meant I could get a faster time walking I still wanted to run it. People pulled their cars up into the park with music blasting to encourage us. Half way through the race I find myself running alongside a woman in her sixties and for awhile we ran together, matching step to step. Some sort of magical runners synergy takes place and when she pulled away ahead of me, I felt a better runner because of it. I hope anyone that runs with me leaves feeling the same way. I realise that any fears I have of competitiveness have been vanquished. I have never felt less competitive than when I running this race. I ran using everything I learned along the way mudras, meditations, mantras. Most of all I ran with joy and gratitude that I can.  A lone Bagpiper appeared on the trail at the final kilometre. Nova Scotia; the only place more Scottish than Scotland they say; it is true.

Seeing the finish line  my heart fills with joy and I remember how I always thought I would cross the finish line with a cartwheel, if I ever ran a race. Hopefully my children will get a kick out of it and it will distract them from the aforementioned trophy. I finish how I ran the whole race; running and smiling. I cross the finish line. I cartwheel.

I originally thought it was really important to me to have my family at the finish line, so at first it was mere surprise when they were not there. I took a few moments to reflect and realised that this is best possible way to finish my first race. Alone. Running has been a very spiritual, personal journey for me. It was meant to be. My husband can be absolved of any guilt. He wasn't at the finish line with kids because he did not imagine I could run it that fast. Still pissed the children missed the cartwheel though!

I do not feel that it is in the spirit of this blog to reveal my race time. However I appreciate the curiosity and interest so if you wish, look for Julia Morton in the Butter Trail 2012 race results. Some race photo can be found at Running with Spirit Facebook page.

P finished with a really inspiring time and should be proud of herself for her sheer bravery and guts. She is already trying to convince me to take part in another race in October. My original plan was to run one race a year. But there was one element of racing I did not expect; it is FUN. Will see.

Back at the beginning.

It has been a long time since my last post. I have been so focused fulfilling my plans of meditating on my lotus pad, learning sanskrit in between juicing and running at any given opportunity that I haven't had time to blog. Ok I am not a convincing liar. I haven't run for over 6 weeks and I am so disappointed and ashamed in myself that I fell so fast for so long. Actually the first 3 weeks I don't regret because a dream opportunity came along for our family that I literally dropped everything to make that dream come true. At the same time my 22 month old demanded to be potty trained and I was so knee deep in pee and poo and laundry that I just plain plumb forgot about all this running stuff.

What my mind forgot my body made sure I remembered; it felt sluggish and soft and very very sorry it had been neglected so badly. Once I came too and noticed how much time had lapsed since my last run I became very fearful. Before I could give reasons why running had to be sacrificed but these reasons morphed into excuses: Too hot. Potty training. Other runners started swarming MY route. Potty training. While I sipped cider. The Canadian summer became a humid, tropical, monsoon soup. It's summer holidays for goodness sake! In between mouthfuls of ice cream. Potty training. My running shoes grew mould in protest. It all became very overwhelming and a bit too hard. I could not be faffed.

Then the Gazelle came back. My little sister who held my hand while I walked ten steps and then ran ten steps last summer, slapped me from my tantrum and in a very adult no nonsense manner simply took me for a run. A run that I had built up in my imagination to be of such horrifying magnitudes that it took the whole 15 minutes to work out that I had run the whole way. Wondering what was all the fuss about? What about the cliché you lose your fitness faster than you gain it? What was I so afraid of? And what a waste of time I spent this summer not running. Haven't I learnt ANYTHNG?

Don't worry my body awoke the morning after the run to remind me of my transgressions. Everything hurt. My ankles, shins, calves, thighs, hamstrings, groin, core muscles, every muscle between my ribs. Even my tongue hurt. How I managed that still has me baffled. Never have I been more sore or sorry in my running. The only remedy for this state is to go for a 5km run which is exactly what I did this morning. Motivation is a muscle that needs to be strengthened.

This is where I find myself, one year on since I started running. Back exactly where I started and it sure looks familiar. Intimidating. Except now I can run and I know that I can do it. Because I have been here before not that long ago.

Time

“So what was your time?” is probably the number one question other runners ask. It is also the question I am least interested in. I won't deny there is a natural curiosity but it pricks the ears of my ego and makes me feel like I am running backwards rather than jogging forwards.

Yet time can be a useful, important and powerful indicator. It is also very effective at putting life in perspective. Anyone who really knows me, knows I want it all. Preferably yesterday before I even knew I wanted it. Meditation and living mindfully makes me just about bearable to live with. When I first started meditating I was on my second retreat where they taught two meditation techniques; mindfulness of breathing and the metta bhvana (loving-kindness). Our meditation teacher, Saty, only came down from his meditation hut on the mountain twice a year to teach. An eager participant asked him how long Saty had spent on these two types of meditation before he felt he could “move on.” Saty took a few minutes of silence to really consider this answer and then solemnly answered, “3 years.” Right there, at that moment, went my plans of conquering meditation on a one week retreat. And here I am 5 years later still practising, but now with the knowledge that it took one man 3 solid years sitting on a mountain.

Time frames give a path, like stepping stones, guiding me in the right direction. But some moments in life time itself struggles to time; like how long it takes to fall in love, discover enlightenment or find the car keys when your 19 month old has set the car alarm off? My guess is that the most important journeys in life time can not define.

This is why I take issue with these “Run 5km in 5 week” programs. To me, it is like the fast food version of running. Which I guess makes whatever it is I am doing the slow food option. Running with spirit certainly isn't the fastest way to become a runner. It took me 9 months to run 5kms. And some days I do not even run that, but it is still a better achievement than me just thinking about doing it. Or doing it for 5 weeks and then never again.

I've come across some running time frames that do inspire me. I stumbled across this idea of “building your base” in running when I was reading “Running with the Mind of Meditation”. The Osteopath Peter Goodman was quoted saying: “...bones are not stagnant; they are constantly changing and developing. Because they have blood vessels running throughout, through the pressure of running, they become harder and more resilient. Likewise, the tendons become conditioned and tough, and the muscles become stronger.” It continues to say that “building your base” takes two years. For me, this an achievable time frame.

And despite the belief that healthier, fitter able bodies only exist in their twenties the most successful professional long distance runners are in their late thirties and early forties. In a fascinating article "You're Only as Old as You Run" , which I recommend reading in The New York Times, it states: “ People over 40 now comprise 46 percent of (marathon) finishers.” So there is time for me yet. Because I'm defiantly in this for the long run. And time is on my side.